Away from the World
by Razben
Summary: Tris is lost in the middle of nowhere. The last thing she remembers is the big uproar with the unveiling of the video. How will she survive in this jungle? And an even bigger question: How did she get there?
1. Chapter 1

I can taste the grit of sand in my mouth. Cautiously opening my left eye, only the deadly brightness greets me. All I can see is white. It's a moment before I push myself up from the position I was in, lying face down on this desert. Everywhere I look, an endless forest of sand dunes stand, painted with the comely sky above it. I don't remember how I got here, but my first thought is Tobias. It must be my instinct, after all we've been through, strolling through hell and back with this war waging, he always having my back. The war. I remember the last bullet I saw exit a chamber. I stood in Jeanine's office, amongst the disregarded paper left loosely around the once prim room. Tori stood in front of me, her face masked with dirt and crimson, you'd never guess she just drew tattoos on people, but I knew her as so much more. Once Tori had claimed Jeanine's life I could see the relief in her eyes, a weight of redemption for her brother's sacrifice come billowing off her shoulders, yet you could hear a pin drop in the disheveled room.

A silhouette shadowed the sterile lights from the Erudite headquarters' hallways. They always managed to be able to give the feel of overt cleanliness with disregard of casualties' amongst the beige halls. His striking features might have awestruck any other amity girl, but I wasn't high on some peace serum; I memorized the way he clenched his jaw before taking a breath and firing a gun. I knew how his muscles relaxed when he stopped thinking about his father or any other careless worries. I know he doesn't acknowledge his undermining strength. Not endurance of physical, but mental. He chooses not to see what he really is, what he is denying himself of being: selfless, brave, smart, compassionate, and intelligent. We were taught these things make up an individual who does not belong in our world, one so fragile. But it is this that teaches us that these traits combine to make us who we are. He taught me that, whether he'll admit to this cunningness or not. And that's the day he second guessed his trust for me. I don't think we were the same after that, even after he discovered the video and broadcasted it to all of the factions.

But now where was he, when I am alone covered in dust and lying helpless in the middle of now where with only the blazing sun as my companion? As I'm still sitting with my right arm propping me up, I notice a small shadow just beyond the closest wall of sand. Lurching myself forward I stumble toward the only dim part of this desert. I can feel through my shaky knees that's it has been a while since I've had a drink of water. The desire is so great I can almost taste the cool wetness cascading down my dry throat, creating an oasis. A few more lingering steps and I see a small tree. Only it has no branches and is surrounding itself with spikes, as if to threaten predators, except I'm the only one in this hell hole. Its lime green skin reminds me of something we learned in Secondary School; I believe it was called a cactus and was said to hold water inside itself, and the thorns to keep away unwanted thieves.

With this revelation I use my slate combat boots to kick down one of the extending arms. How I ended up with these fashion accessories in the middle of the desert is a mystery. After the second try, the creature detaches one of its arms and the hot sand becomes a poor sample of mud. I quickly grasp my clammy hands around the sacrifice and sip from the rough snapped off edge. It doesn't hold much water, and it taste somewhat like chemicals but it's lukewarm liquid slides down my throat with ease. Wiping of the moisture on my lips, I decide my best option for survival is to find shelter.

I've been wandering through this abundance of sand for what seems like hours. The imprints of my shoes leave an obvious trail, but what does it matter if I'm the only one here. I glance toward the sky, recalling where the sun was when I rehydrated myself and realize it is now just above the next dune I plan to conquer. It might look easy to climb a pile of dust, but it isn't till you try it, that you realize you're screwed unless you climb meticulously. This is my 6th mountain of sand, but I still can't seem to get a hold of it, as I go sliding backwards once again. I am quick to plant my left foot into the ground, before I get to much progress lost. However, the wind isn't much helpful when it's blowing grit into your eyes, only making this expedition so much more fun. Only this isn't just some trip or vacation, I was kidnapped and discarded like a piece of trash in the vast ocean of dust and sand. The question is who and why.

My first thought goes to Peter. He's already proved his cruelty and negligence by hanging my limp body over the chasm. He even paid me a devilish smile as the water licked my ankles and I flirted with death. The same night that Tobias was my savior and let me break down my high barriers to show him although I look tough as nails, I'm as fragile as glass. Still though even with Peter saving my life in Erudite, I wouldn't put this act past him. What better way to die then alone, slow, and suffering as your throat becomes so hardened that only a faint whisper is heard. Or starving and begging death just to rescue me from this torture chamber, and release me into an eternity of peace, if I deserve that much. What better way to die. Asking yourself: How many hours do I have left? Will starvation claim me? Or today will the dehydration cause me to slip into nothingness? Although it could be as simple as falling on the damn sand and breaking my neck, if that's even possible.

I finally reach the peak of my summit and see salvation. Ahead of me is a luscious forest with a tree line stretching beyond both sides of my vision. I fall to my knees and close my eyes while bowing my head. I haven't prayed in a long time. I haven't asked for forgiveness or help with the war and now I only say thank you before picking myself up and sprinting toward the underbrush that may be hosting dinner for tonight.

Brushing one leg past another I reach the internal covenant of the foliage and find fruit dangling from low hanging trees, almost craving my touch. How could I refuse? I slip off one of the purple rounded refreshments, taking a bite quickly as if this was my last meal. The soft fuss surrounding the fruit slides against my tongue and I swallow hard. Hungry for more I take another taste and leave it in my mouth, gathering four more from the tree. Balancing them with my arm I take the juicy nourishment out from my mouth and sigh from a reprieve of a growling stomach. This is when I remember that I still need somewhere to sleep tonight, as the sun is just whispering over the leaves and a chill is beginning to cradle me. I scour around the nearby trunks to find a sturdy base with a giant green leaf reaching out from it. I decide that this will be my camp until I can do better. Hopefully tomorrow will be more promising and I will be able to find more life among this forest. As I lie my head down on the hardened dirt I grimace with the thought of Tobias' not being by my side. Unable to fight away the nightmares ever so reoccurring. Although I can almost guarantee myself a new one tonight as here I lay with only the echoing voices of birds screaming me lullabies as I drift off and my body grows limp.

**Author's Note:**

**Hope you liked the first chapter. I tried to create something no one has ever seen before, like a penguin in a circus so to speak. If you wish please leave a review about what you thought about the story. Even if it's a harsh criticism, I would love to know what you thought. I only ask that you leave honest replies. Other than that, if you were kind enough to read this Author's Note, I thank you for the time you spent reading my story. Have a swell and snazzy day. (Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Divergent, however Veronica Roth is an amazing author I thank her for writing such an amazing trilogy)**

**Razben**


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up with a start, surprised that daylight can dance upon the forest floor. Last night the lull of the birds had dragged me to get some sleep, but judging by how hot it already is, I am guessing it's more than just a few hours. I look around me, groggily and notice that the dew that was once painted over everything, is now just another visitor come and gone. Prodding myself up against the massive tree trunk that was my warmth last night, my stomach sings the song of its people, letting me know I've probably slept through breakfast.

After forcing myself up from the rough ground, I drag my hands across my charcoal pants and loose V-neck tank, brushing off the clinging dirt. I already feel so dirty just sleeping one night in this place. Which leads me to asks myself, where exactly am I? Considering all of the factions are well developed in Chicago, I assume I'm somewhere more dangerous. I'm outside the gates. I would have never expected to be protected all my life by the Dauntless, from a vast sea of dry cracked ground and a misty jungle. There seems to be more awaiting for me, but for now the top of my priorities include getting something to eat.

I rummage through the underbrush in search of anything eatable. So far all that I find is thorny plants with crimson flowers that remind me of Christina. Their bold color resembled her personality I can't help but hold out a smile. Christina was-is the kind of girl proud to get you wasted and still have a good time, but she also can be the confidant that will tell you it's ok to sit on the couch and eat dauntless cake until your tears have dried, not to mention you can't even remember why you showed up at her door crying in the first place.

I've been scouring for about an hour now and my stomach feels as though it is concaving in on itself. My skin begins to itch, after all I don't even know when the last time I had a shower was. Hell, I don't even know what day it is or how long I've been away from the city. Everyone's probably already forgotten about me and Tobias' I have no doubt has already moved on. Why would he search for a pathetic flat chested stiff like me, he could have anyone he wanted. His dastardly appealing eyes grasp your attention and plead for you to come closer.

I pull back a branch that was obscuring vision and find my safe haven lying before my eyes. It's everything you could ask for, being stuck in the middle of nowhere. The luscious ten foot waterfall sprays across the gray stones at its foot. I've seen pictures like this in our books, but nothing could describe how beautiful the sight was. A pool formed around the fall and another collected itself next to the tree line where a single river flowed its way downhill. The rush of the water transferring itself from one break to another causes me to direct my attention to a single leaf, that floats among the stream. It flows among other small sticks and plunges into the water when there is a small drop. Staggering myself toward the cascading water, I can already smell the light fresh scent it gives off. I break into a short jog and cup my hands together and pushing them underneath the water. I bring them back to my face and raise my head back. The cool liquid slides down my throat and again I have overcome dehydration.

I rub the excess water on my black jeans and notice that my clothes are filthy with dirt and mud. Now would be a good time for a bath. But it takes me a moment to cautiously peer around my fellow trees before I feel comfortable removing my stench infested tank top and pants. After assuring myself that in fact there is no one else is around to see my embarrassment of a body, I pull at the hem of my top and slip it over my head with ease. I feel cold already with trepidation. I remember when I shrugged off my coat before I jumped into the net. How Peter pointed out how scandalous I looked when I was actually showing my arms. The thought makes me grimace. Never in my life have I shown this much skin. Not even in Dauntless when Christina used me as a life-sized doll. Once a stiff, always a stiff I guess. It's not just something you can bury deep inside you. It comes out when you least expect it, like a promise.

I quickly peel off my other clothes and walk toward the pool. I dip my right toes in and immediately I feel a sudden chill rush down my spine. I know there is no way I will be able to walk into this freezing water. My only option is to brace myself and jump in.

I take a few steps back away from the edge and then sprint towards the center of the pool. Right before I hit the water I jump and find myself splashing the once calm water around me, into the surrounding grass. I tred water, letting my hands circle around till I become used to the devilish cold. I can't help but smile. Never in my life would I imagine splashing into a jungle pool, after being disposed in the desert. If someone were to tell me of this fate in Abnegation, I would recommend them to a psychiatrist down the street.

I run my hands under the water, around my arms trying to warm myself up. Dipping my head under the water was necessary, unless I planned on having greasy hair. Even though it only reaches down to my shoulders, I still think it deserves its own washing. At the beginning of the war I had cut my hair short, but holding my locks between my frail fingers reminds me that a lot of time has passed since then. I can't help but think about what's going on in the city. Are erudite guards shooting down Divergent? Is shattered glass coating the Amity headquarters? It just seems like a constant game I play with myself. To think of a happy ending that I hope for, or the reality that it very well might be.

Finally, when I've scrubbed out the dirt from underneath my nails and my skin no longer smells like mud, I swim toward the edge of the pool where I can slowly walk on the wet stones till I reach the dry grass. I walk over to the tree branch to which my clothes lie underneath, picking them up and shaking out any loose grass sticking to them. I can feel the warmth the sun has left on them, even when they were at the edge of the shade. I steadily slip back on my clothing, ready to come back to a more conservative look. However, Dauntless being conservative is more of a stretch really. I still can't believe some of the Dauntless women wear revealing shirts and hiked up skirts that look disgusting on some of them. _Your Abnegation is showing._ I can hear Christina's words ring through my ears like she is standing right next to me, as if we are back in the dining hall where I ate my first hamburger and Tobias introduced me to it partner in taste, the red sauce I smeared on it. _Stop, _I think to myself. Tobias could be a million miles away from here, where ever here is. He could have found someone else by now. But my intuition tells me otherwise. I've been through hell with him by my side. His tender touch guiding my gun in initiation, his grin tugging at his lips when I helped to win capture the flag. I can picture him grabbing my hand after I plummeted into the net and him welcoming me to Dauntless, after reminding me that I could be a different person here. Have a new name. He helped me become who I am. Dauntless. Selfless. Brave.

Lying in the sunlight I soak up its heat and I can feel its warmth surround me like a blanket. I slowly let my eyes overcome me and before I do I hear small footsteps coming from behind. " Tris?" I stiffen. The voice is low and yet I don't feel threatened. Propping myself up with my elbow, I look around my shoulder to see who the owner of the voice is. But when I see his striking blue eyes I can't believe myself. I whisper his name, "Tobias?"

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks for everyone who read the last chapter. And for those of you who review thanks. Even if you didn't, but still read my story I can't thank you enough. I am constantly looking for new ways to improve my writing. If you have any suggestions please review about what you thought. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to kind of leave you at a cliff hangar. Sorry. But hopefully I will be able to update soon and continue with Tris' adventure in the wild. Hope you have a snazzy swell day! (Disclaimer: I still do not own divergent. )**

**Razben**


	3. Chapter 3

"Tobias?" I mutter again. If it weren't for his memorable dark blue eyes with the small patches of lighter blue peeking out of the corner, I wouldn't have recognized him. He has darkened stubble stretching from one side of his face to the other, just an inch below his mouth where his chin lies. His hair is disheveled and longer than it had been before. He begins to open his mouth to speak again, but he seems to be at a loss for words. He merely just stands there, looking confused.

I can't stand it any longer. I step toward him and reach out my hands, enveloping him into a hug. I don't know what has come over me. Is it that I haven't seen him in so long? Has it even been that long? God only knows. I lean my head against his dark shirt, and take in his smell. I grasp his shirt with my fist and slowly cry into his shoulder. In dauntless I might look weak, but it's now it front of him that I can reveal my weakness, and know he will accept me.

He carefully wraps his strong arms around me and pulls me tighter toward him. His begin to cry too and there we are in the middle of the jungle crying and holding each other. He is the first to speak, chocking up on each word as he goes.

"Tris, I thought you were dead."

"No. I'm here. Right now, I'm here." I speak just above a whisper through my tears.

We stand there like that for what feels like an eternity. He nudges his lips against my neck and kisses me softly. In Abnegation, we never showed any public affection, when I first got to Dauntless I was shocked to see people kissing. But right now I feel my worries stream away with every salty crystal that slides down my cheeks. I lightly push my lips against his. It's not a hungry kiss, but a passionate one. He strengthens the small affection by cradling my head in his hands. As we break away from one another, I stare into his eyes and see my reflection. I see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and I playfully hit him on the arm.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

" Nothing," he smiles and looks at the ground for a moment, "It's just that I thought I never would see you again. "

"Oh. Trying to get rid of me already?" I tease.

" Tris," his face gets serious and he squints his eyes from the blinding sun, "How long do you think I've been out here."

The question surprises me. I would have guess I've only been away from the city for a couple of days but I see his small beard again, and I second guess myself. He sees me trying to figure all of this out. He finally comes out and tells me.

" Three months?! I've been in this jungle for three months!"

I have to catch my breath and remind myself to breathe. Three months. I've been away from the city for three months?

"That's impossible," I make out, "I just woke up in the desert a few days ago. What the hell do you mean three months? There's no way!"

I feel my cheeks grow hot as my voice grows louder. Tobias holds my hands in his and bends down so we are almost eye level.

"Tris . Once we broadcasted the tape we discovered we were knocked out. We all woke up in different parts of the desert at different times. We found Christina four nights ago by the ocean."

I raise my head from looking at the ground and meet his gaze. I run my right head against my forehead, pushing my head back from my face.

"Christina is here?"

"Yeah, but she's not doing so well. We've been searching around to find different plants to ease the pain, but none of us are Erudite to say the least."

The idea of my best friend in pain makes me grimace.

"What's wrong with her? Did they do this to her?" I ask with desperation.

"We don't know, she just keeps throwing up everywhere. At first we thought she had just eaten too much her first night. But it's happening every day. I just came here to refill our water."

I look down and see the beaten milk jug, with dirt on its rim, next to his leg. This is all too much to take in. Three months away from the city, being kidnapped and dumped here. Then the thought crosses my mind.

"Who's we?"

He smiles and grabs my hand, "Come on, I'll show you."

We walk for 30 minutes with the setting sun warming up our backs, when finally we come upon a small camp. The fire pit in the center of cluster of trees has smoldered black logs resting in it, with rough edged rocks surrounding it. Next to it is a small construction that resembles a shack. Giant leaves canopy over a few prodded up sticks that make a slim frame, along with a giant trunk of a tree being the base of the raggedy house. The sticks are tied with some dried out tall grass, and surprisingly the structure looks sound. Inside the shelter is a few torn blankets and crushed palm fronds underneath them. But sitting against the trunk is a dark headed girl with olive skin, who is picking at her cuticles with her knees brought up almost to her chin. The girl turns her head and sees me. Her face is confused at first but once she sees the ravens taking flight on my collarbone, she quickly gets up and waddles over to me.

"Tris!" She embraces me in a hug and I struggle to get my hands around her. But once I manage I throw my arms around her and laugh.

"Christina. You're suffocating me." I say with a hoarse voice.

"Oh sorry." She smiles and steps back, glancing over my body, before continuing.

" Tris, you look so different! Your hair is longer and man the jungle does not look good on you sweetie."

I smile. Of course it's Christina's better nature to let her Candor side appear every once in a while.

I play along, curling my hair with my finger as I go, "Well you know, I walked all this way, and could you believe I didn't see one store?! The scrutiny!"

She laughs and I notice something that I didn't before. Christina holds herself farther back than she used to and it seems as though she gained some weight, plus the vomiting. I remember Tobias is still next to me grinning at what a weird duo we are.

" Tobias, umm, can you get me something to eat? I haven't ate anything since last night."

He shakes his head grinning and replies, " Sorry, I'll let you too have some "alone time"," he saying adding air quotes. He leaves toward a trail and went I feel he is farther enough away I confront Christina.

We sit down underneath the canopy and I turn toward her raising my eyebrows.

" Christina, Is there something that you might want to tell me?"

Her face turns red with embarrassment, before her eyes become glossy with tears that have yet to fall.

"Christina, what happened?" I lower my head to eye level to hers, that is now buried between her knees.

She lifts her head up slightly. "I'm pregnant."

I already inferred that, leave it to the men to know nothing, nevertheless I let her continue.

"With Will's baby." This takes me by surprise. I open my mouth to ask how that's possible. We both know that Will died, well, nearly five months ago. I close my eyes at the painful thought of remembering I was the one who cause that. I can see Will's emotionless eyes gaze into mine as he pulls up his gun with his left hand. I can hear my gun resonate. I can pretend that it didn't happen, that this will just pass over and someday I'll forget about it. But I know that every day, I'll wake up knowing I killed one of my best friends, and now the father of a baby who is yet to be born. I swallow hard.

" It happened right before our fear landscapes. I was so nervous about making the top ten and he was too and it just sort of happened. But Tris," she pauses to catch her breath, " I wouldn't take it back."

I look at her. I've caused her so much pain, and now she will have a kid, with any luck, that is just like her and Will. A tear falls from the corner of my eyes and rolls off my cheek. I wipe my face with my shirt.

"I know," I say, "I know how much you loved him. And I'm so sorry that I took him away from you."

She grabs my shoulders and we hug and cry.

"I know I forgive you."

Her words are undeserved. I wish she would yell at me or something, maybe then knowing that she's forgiven me wouldn't be as painful. We untangle ourselves and she runs the heel of her hand at her face.

" I look like shit." She says with a smile.

" Hey, if you look like shit then I must look worst."

We both start laughing and it seems like the weight has been lifted off our shoulder for the moment. Tobias makes his way to us.

" Dinner's ready," he says with a smile. He helps me up and I remind myself that I have to let this helpless guy know what "dire" disease Christina has called pregnancy. We make our way back over to the once smoldering fire, that has now bin lit and a small embers fly into the air before turning black. Next to the flames is four green medium sized green leaves with a piece of meat on it. I see it's a small piece of white meat that smells salty and some other smell I can't describe.

" What is this?" I ask, picking at the meat with my hands.

" It's fish. Uriah and I caught it this morning."

My face lights up. " Uri is here?!" I smile from one small ear to the other and ask Tobias where he is.

" He went to get more firewood, should be back any minute now."

As if on cue, the underbrush cracks under the boy's boots and we turn around to see him swatting something around him, as he is cursing.

" I _hate_ these mosquitoes!" He yells in frustration. I can see his brown skin and dark eyes just barley in the dark. I can't believe the sun has already set. I carefully place my fish down and get up from the ground we were sitting on, to hug Uri. He sets the scattered wood down next to him and returns the hug.

" I missed you Uri." I say.

" But not as much as you missed me." I hear Tobias' voice strain behind me. I turn around and walk back toward our little cum-bi-yah circle to leave a kiss on the jealous boy's lips.

"No, not as much as I missed you," I whisper.

I take my seat next to Tobias again, and after both Christina and Uri stop the gagging noises, we make small talk about different parts in the jungle. Apparently, a ten minute walk from here is the ocean and next to the stream I found is a small rugged grove of banana trees.

" So you fish?" I ask Tobias as I finish the last of my meal.

" I'm a man of many hats I guess," he replies.

I smile, " Will you teach me?"

He looks long and hard at me and finally tells me that tomorrow morning he will let my catch my own lunch. For some reason he thinks it will take me past breakfast till I catch something decent. After we are all finished and Uri has told us a ghost story about him and Zeke roaming the Dauntless kitchen to find all the chocolate cake batter had disappeared, we decide to get some sleep. We all pile up underneath the shack of palm fronts and my eye lids begin to droop. The sound of pleasant chirping birds lulls me to sleep with Christina and Tobias on either side of me and the starry night painted in the sky, like a picture.

**Author's Note: **

**Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. As you might have noticed I don't update usually within a day or two. I think that when you write a story there needs to be a draft and time for revision. Hopefully, you liked the chapter. Please let me know of anything you would like to see happen or change in the story. I am open to new ideas and prepared for someone else's point of view. Have a great night!**

**~Razben**


	4. Chapter 4

"No," I mumble. My arm juts out for a second unconsciously and falls back into place.

" No," I say louder this time and my feet kick out from beneath me.

"NO!" My eyes burst open and I find myself curled up with my head touching me knees.

"It's ok," his breath ragged against my neck. I realize that Tobias has me in his arms and is bringing me close to him. He must realize that I'm still shaking after the nightmare, because he rubs his hands down from my head to my ear and tells me everything is ok. He brushes a tear that has escaped from my eye, also bringing the loose hair behind my ear. Last night the jungle had given me a gift that had gone unacknowledged. But tonight my nightmares were relentless and the same one was reoccurring.

I untangle myself and meet his pleading eyes. He has a half smile that I comforting and makes me wonder how he can be caring. I just woke him up screaming like a lunatic at whatever time it is, and yet he still can amuse me with his handsome grin.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks me. He looks down from my face at the ground for a split moment and returns to rubbing my hand in small circles with his thumb. I sit up and look behind me to make sure that I didn't wake up Uriah or Christina. Of course the two of them can sleep through anything, although I think it was me kicking Tobias in the back by accident that woke him up. Uriah lies with his hand in a V shape underneath his head and his other draped across his stomach, all the while with his mouth open. Christina on the other hand, is curled up on her side with her back facing us and her breaths deep with a steady beat.

I turn back around and nod my head. I doubt if I keep waking up and not facing my fear it will just come back again. He pushes himself up from the leg-crossed position he was in and offers his hand to me. I take it in mine and become eye level with him again. We walk slowly toward the fire pit and sit on the longer tree log that fits both of us. I kick at the dirt in small patches and were there was once an even light gray landscape has now a dark black infliction. I heave a heavy sigh and begin.

"Well, it starts out I'm alone in this room and there aren't any doors or windows. And then all of the sudden the breath is kind of like sucked out of me…," I swallow hard, " And- and I fall to the ground and my chests hurts and I try to breath but I can't." I stop. I can't tell him the rest. I feel helpless, and I begin to stare at the ground and sniffle.

"Tris. Tris," he leans his head down to see me underneath my cascading hair, "What happened next?"

I bite my lip, and can taste blood. He will look at me and tell me my dream is impossible; that I'm high on peace serum or something. He'll judge me, and see me differently. He won't have trust in me, or accuse me for whatever fantasy my mind playing.

"Tris, You don't have to be embarrassed. It's me you're talking to. You're my family and we can tell each other anything."

When he says this I start bawling. I cry as loud as the train, but yet in some way I'm silent as the first night in the dorms. I bury my face into my shirt to wipe away the tears. I'm so pathetic, sitting here crying like a pansycake, as Uriah would say. How can he be so strong, when I'm so weak? When I'm at my breaking point and he is still at the starting line. His internal strength is something I admire every day, and for this he is my own. I make eye contact with him for the first time in a few minutes, he doesn't look at me like I'm made of porcelain, but instead like he is concerned for me. I'm the first to talk.

" Right before I knew I was going to die, you were there." _No don't stop. Tell him what happened._

"You came up to me and told me that I wasn't worth it, that I was replaceable and that you didn't care about me." I sniff and blink away a tear.

"But I screamed that it wasn't true, But, Tobias it felt _so real_. And I fell, and right before my eyes close you smiled and told me sorry, sorry that you killed me."

It's been decades since I told the story. Yet in actuality it's only a matter of minutes. Tobias' face is wet and I feel like I've destroyed him. I wish this wasn't the nightmare. I wish this wasn't haunting me, but it is.

"Tobias I am so sorry I-"

"Tris, I'm the one who is sorry." His voice begins to strain. " I can't turn back time and reverse what happened in that room in Erudite. But you need to understand that I do trust you. You are my everything. You are everything I want to be and more. I love you with every breath I take and every decision I make is for you. I love you to the moon and back, to the deepest bottom of the ocean and to tip of the tallest mountain. Tris Prior, you are every reason I know what true love is, because you have given that to me. And that is a gift I will never be able to return. I don't deserve you, I've always looked at myself as weak and indispensable, but you have given me my strength and you still look up to me when I've been beaten down. When I showed who I really was, you didn't treat me like a kicked puppy; you made me feel like I was made of steel, invincible. No one could ever compare to your beauty and anyone who ever said anything else is blind. You are perfectly imperfect and that's all that I could ever ask of you. You are worth every second that I can give to you. And if I could die and do my life over again, I would only ask that I would find you. I wish I could explain to you in words how much I love you, but I can't. You are my everything Tris and you could _never_ be replaced. "

I can't say anything. I feel like every bone in my body is cement. He loves me and all though he said it before, this time it's different. It's like when I was pure adrenaline flying down the zip line, or when I felt the electricity dance off our fingertips when he told me I looked tough as nails. He is everything I could ever ask for, and the princesses didn't know a damn thing about a prince charming. He is my hero, my savior, and my love.

I crash my lips into him gently at first then in a more hungry passion. I kiss him until my deprivation of him has settled. And even then I feel cheated. I kiss him again and my arm is anchored on his neck. He begins to put his hands on my waist, and I hesitate at the touch of his skin on mine.

He breaks away. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean to.."

"It's okay." I take a step back and heat rushes into my face. My fear hasn't left me and I feel embarrassed. It's just something about contact to my skin that mays me pull back and feel chills run through my body. Tobias lifts my chin with his hand and looks at me with a smile.

"Tris, I'm never going to make you do something you don't want to do. I will wait, even until for the day we get married. But you never have to apologize or feel embarrassed. "

He leans toward me and kisses me on the nose gently.

"How do you know exactly what to say?" I ask him.

He cocks his head and replies, "I guess I'm just perfect."

We both laugh. Both of us are far from perfect, in fact we are perfectly imperfect.

The sun it just beginning to appear above the horizon and I can smell the dew that wasn't there before. I am so lucky to have him. And I'm even more grateful that he respects me for who I am.

He breaks the silence, brewing between us and suggests that we get a few more hours of sleep in before the rest of gang gets up. I tell him it's a great idea and I find myself once again lying next to him. I lay with my back facing him and Christina is laying down facing the top of the hut. She stirs for a moment and then flips onto her side with now facing Uriah once again. Leave it to the pregnant woman to sleep through everything, and Uriah, well, I don't know what excuse is. I love them both and yet its in such a crazy way. I think of my family, and I tear up again. Gosh, I've been really weak tonight. But I can't think of my family. I chose to leave them and maybe one day we will be reunited, but as of now I know that I have the choice to decide how I'm going to feel and how I'm going to react, and that is the ultimate fairness.

With this final thought my breaths become a steady rhythm and I can feel myself slowly drifting back to sleep. I can smell Tobias' distinct scent of sweat, and now the forest. I let my eye seep down again and fall back into the beat of my slumber.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys, I decided since it was my birthday that you deserved a chapter, after all I'm not the other amazing writers who post everyday. I seriously don't know how you do it, but I applaud you. I hope you liked this chapter. I think her first night I the forest, I cheated you on the development of how she's dealing with Tobias not being by her side. As always I don't ask that you review, but if you do please be honest. I'm not going to freak out if you think something should be changed or a specific part needs to be written differently. Or even if you just want to suggest a new idea for the story, I would love to hear a third-perspective. Hope you guys a great night! (Disclaimer: Still don't own Divergent)**

**~Razben**


	5. Chapter 5

I feel a slight shake and open my eyes to find a swollen tree trunk ahead of me, with the forest as its wallpaper. I roll over and see Christina sitting on her knees peering at me.

"We need to get some more water for today," she tells me. I heave a heavy sigh and groggily get up, brushing the dirt clinging to me arm away. I stand and look around to find Tobias and Uriah at the fire pit, coaxing the flames to appear. Uriah has his olive head at the fire's base, blowing a stream of air into the barely glowing embers; while Tobias stands on the opposite side of him feeding the glow with some dried grass.

Christina and I walk into the forest with our hands outstretched, trying to get support from the branches on the steep incline. Once we reach the pool, I see the grass around the edge looks soft and luscious, probably due to this morning's dew. I remember waking up when the sky was still infinite with stars and Tobias by my side as I remained weak. I'm disgusted that I was crying in front of him, but I remember when we sat on his bed, him telling me that I was allowed to show my pain in front of him. But that was back when we were slaves to the government and all we worried about was becoming free from our fears and having a slice or two of Dauntless cake along the way. I smile and Christina brings me back to the present, in the jungle alone, the four of us.

"Tris! Come look at this!" I run over and see that she is looking down into the water.

"What is it?" I ask my eyebrows furrowed.

"The hell- are you blind?!" She points at her reflection grinning like an idiot, and then picks up her shirt just to where her stomach begins. I finally see what she's talking about. In the reflection, there is a tanned girl with her black shirt hiked up and underneath it reveals a small protruding amount of skin. She places her hand under the small bump and turns to get a better look.

I laugh, "Did you not think was going to happen?"

She rolls her eyes and says, "I didn't realize I was already showing."

I tear runs down her face, but she brushes it away quickly.

"I just hope he or she doesn't decide to show up while we're still out here."

She points down at her belly and says, "You hear that kid, you got to keep your shit together till we get out of this thing."

We laugh and she says, "Come on we need to get some water."

She dumps the small canister into the cool water and it begins to ripple. She resurfaces the jug and takes a long sip then hands it to me. I graciously accept it and the water slides down my parched throat. Once I am refreshed I screw the plastic top back on and lean down to the edge of the pool. I wash my hands and shake them out to the side after I get back up. I know that the small waterfall will push out the old water in a few hours, so I'm not worried that my musky hands have soiled our only source of hydration. We embark back to the camp sight, me holding the jug of water and Christina grabbing small sticks for later. We've only just returned to the camp when Uriah starts screaming his head off.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Uriah jumps around with his head bent down looking at his shirt sleeve that is on fire. I can't help but laugh. Tobias is blowing at his sleeve and yelling back at Uri to keep still.

"FOUR GET IT OFF I'M GOING TO BURN UP!"

Christina takes this as the perfect opportunity to splash some water on Uri's arm. Only that she "missed" and now what water we had collected is soaking up his shirt with a silver and orange tinted flame on it. Uriah looks up from the wet clothes and narrows his eyes at Christina who still is holding the evidence. Christina and I start bursting into laughter with Tobias there grinning like he doesn't want to think it's funny. Only he has to hold his hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh.

"Oh it's so funny isn't it? Well then, how about a hug?" He runs up to Christina who begins to run away, but he grabs her and engulfs her in a hug.

"Ewwww! Uriah I'm all wet now." She say with laughter on every word.

" See, now don't you wish you hadn't doused me with that freezing water?" He asks.

She thinks about it for a minute, stroking her invisible beard with her finger and replies, "Nope," popping the P.

We all erupt in laughter once again and finally when it's suppressed Tobias comes up to me. He has his hands in his front pockets and he looks puzzling at me.

"So how about I teach you to fish?"

I smile spreads on my face and I nod my head. We grab a few bananas and eat them quickly. On the way out, we pick up a long skinny bamboo pole with a hole bored into it, with a string hanging down and a small rusty hook attached to it; and along with that a small shovel and a spare bucket that was hidden on the other side of the shelter. Tobias leads the way, helping me jump over the dips in the forest floor and finally onto the shuffling sand. The sand sloshed underneath me, and I lose my balance. Luckily, Tobias grabbed my forearm and grinned as I looked up from my two left feet.

We walk out to a little inlet that the ocean sweeps in and out of and pushes fish through. I peer down into the water to find I can see the bottom. Its turquoise rocks were the foundation for the community of fish that swim to and fro from one end of the inlet to the other. I've never thought I would see something this beautiful. Even the coral serving as trees for the filets make the ocean jungle eye-catching. I keep staring at a fish moving around the sea grass as Tobias touches my shoulder.

"You ready for your first lesson?"

I smirk at him, "What makes you think I need more than one."

"I don't," he replies, "I think you'll be an excellent fisherwoman."

I smile and take the pole from him. He pulls out the shovel and goes away from the inlet where a small mud pile marks the ground. He digs for a while and then comes back with a few slimy stick looking things that are squirming under his hands. He takes the hook on the rod and delicately ropes the worm onto it.

"Ok, now just put it in the water and be still."

I almost start to feel bad for the helpless bait, but I hear my stomach sing the song of its people and I throw it in semi-gracefully. Once it hits the water, all the surrounding fish swim away, leaving the bait to drown and squirm by itself. That is until the fish from the sea grass slips in between the blades and tries to elusively steal my bait. I slowly pull the bamboo stick up to make sure our dinner has indeed fallen into our trap.

"Ok, pull up fast!" Tobias jokingly yells at me.

I snap the pole up from the water line and the fish flies along with it to our side of the bank. Tobias squats next to the scaled fish that is trying to breathe in water that's not there. He grabs the head and then runs his fingers along the fin to hold it down.

"Not bad for your first one," he says raising his eyebrows and grinning.

"Not bad? He's perfect!"

"I wouldn't go that far. He is a little small Tris," he concludes.

I look at him, tilting my head and say, "Well I guess we'll have to catch some more."

He smile and sets the fish down in the bucket and comes to sit next to me on the rock overlooking a portion of the inlet. He baits the hook and I set it again, only this time instead of having my eyes glued on the bait I look over at Tobias. I notice his dark hair falling into his eyes and how his skin has darkened. He doesn't notice me staring at him until he turns his head from the end of the pole.

"What?" He asks me flashy me his toothy smile.

"Nothing. I was thinking how lucky I am to have you," I tell him honestly.

He grabs my chin and brings my mouth to his. His soft lips brush against mine and I feel shiver go down my spine. I lift my arm around his neck and he kisses me again. He pulls me into his lap, and we are interrupted by the tug on the line. We break away and I carefully wipe my mouth, not wanting to take all of his presence on me. He pulls the fish in and holds the line up to show me his catch. The fish flaps around for a few second as he unhooks it from the metal trap and carefully places it into the bucket. This routine goes on for a few more hours until the sun is nearly at the horizon and we decide to head back. He carries the bucket that is now full with twelve fish and I hold his other hand in mine. We intertwine our fingers and walk down the beach on the sand, with the setting sun to our backs.

We get to the camp and Christina is asleep once again while Uriah is stripping some vines with a knife. I walk over to him while Tobias carries the load to the small shoddy cooler.

"Whatcha doin'?" I ask, sitting down on the log next to him.

"I'm trying to make something we can use as string to hold up a better shelter. After all we don't want to be sleeping on the ground when it rains."

Although Uri's a Dauntless-born I know he thinks of other things aside from zip lining down a 100 story building. I smile and hear Tobias call my name. I get up and walk over to the mess of fish on the cooler and see he had another knife in his hand.

"What are we doing now?"

"Well if you caught it you clean it." He says with a grin, I think he's having too much fun with this.

I watch how he demonstrates how to clean the fish: First taking the knife running it up and down the scales to get them all off, then cutting the head off, which made me cringe. Then you have to cut down the body and get all the excess fluids and organs out, which go into the bucket, with the fish head that stares back up at you. Finally you set the finished product aside and start again with the new fish. Since we only have the two knifes Tobias thought I should try a few which turned into the rest since I apparently needed the practice. Once I was done I smelled disgusting and my clothes were soiled, but after we woke Christina up and she complained about it, she promised to take me down to the pool tomorrow, since it was already too late tonight, to get rid of the gnarly smell. We finished the dinner but putting the fish on a huge green leaf that will serve as the grill and plate. After turning brown we all took a leaf containing three filets, and sat down on the two long logs next to the flames.

"You know I used to think that the flames on the Dauntless seal didn't mean anything," Christina says, "But now I kinda get it. It's like the fire can be dangerous and destructive, but it can also give warmth and food. Like the Dauntless, we have our flaws and strengths, but it doesn't change who we are. The flame is still a flame. And we are who we are."

We all nod along with what she says and throw the empty plates into the orange.

"Well aren't you miss intuitive tonight," mocks Uriah jokingly.

" I damn well am," she replies and we all laugh.

" Ok, well I have a headache, I'm gonna get to bed. Night guys," Christina says before pushing herself up from the space next to Uriah.

Once she settles down in the tent, Uriah leans toward me.

"What's up with her?" He asks.

I roll my eyes and say, "She's pregnant."

Both of the guys look at me confusingly, "What?!" They say in unison.

I run my hands over my eyes and smile, stupid boys. We sit there for a couple more minutes before Uri decide to get some sleep too. Then it's just Tobias and me under this beautiful starry night sky. He puts his arm around my shoulder and says,

"You know, earlier you told me that you were lucky to have me. But Tris, I'm the lucky one. And I hope I get to hold you in my arms everyday till the day I die, because nothing could beat this moment right now, nothing."

I look up and smile at him. I lean into his body and he holds me close, slowly falling asleep as I stare into the infinite night sky.

**Author's Note: **

**Thanks for reading, hope you liked the chapter. To zayzay: I like your idea and I might consider using it later on in the story. To all the other people who have reviewed, thank you so much for the encouragement and helpful suggestions. Again I love to hear what you guys think about the story, but most of all thank you for taking time out of your day to read mine. Even though there are thousands of others you could have chosen from. Hope you have a snazzy day! (Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent)**

**~Razben**


	6. Chapter 6

I hear someone choking and gagging next to me and I quickly push myself up from where I was sleeping and run over to the shadow. I speed walk over to Christina who is behind a tree puking her guts out. I go over and pull her hair out of her face, while she crumples over and assumes the position again. I have to look away when she vomits, but I try to carefully rub small circles into her back. She heaves one last time and wipes her mouth with the edge of her shirt and spits into the brushes.

"That was disgusting. I hope I never have to do it again," says Christina grimacing.

I raise my eyebrows, not sure if she seriously doesn't think morning sickness won't come back tomorrow, or if she wants to make herself think that.

"You do know it's called morning sickness for a reason right?" I ask her laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I just hate throwing up. In Candor whenever I got sick, my mom would sit next to me and tell me everything was going to be ok. But for some reason right after I puked I would admit to something stupid. Like this one time I told her that I really didn't like her food and it was disgusting. Another I admitted to accidently killing my sister's hamster. It makes no sense what-so-ever, but I guess that's Candor for ya," she finishes.

I just shrug my shoulders and help her back up the rugged terrain. I offer her my hand to jump up on the platform that is gnarled at the edge with large roots that hang in the air, and she takes it bringing her foot in to the dirt and stretching her other out onto the higher surface. In one swift motion she is level to me and we begin making our way to camp.

We walk into camp to find the guys still sleeping. I'm surprised Uriah hasn't woken Tobias up with his snoring.

I look over my shoulder at the light that is barley coming through the trees, each ray hitting a different item at a different angle. The water jug reflecting some of the light inside its plastic surface, a mall patch of tall grass casting shadows on one another, even Tobias' hair shines from the beams.

I smile and saunter towards him. He shifts just slightly and wrinkles his nose. It's adorable honestly, but I don't tell him that. I sit down on my knees next to him and lean in closer to him.

As he lays there I softly brush my lips against him. I can feel him grin, and I pull away, my lips slowly unsticking themselves from him. He still keeps his eyes closed, as if he's still sleeping.

"Hmmm. I was sure that would wake him up. Maybe I was doing it wrong."

I lean back in and give him a more passionate kiss and he carefully leans forward as I play with him, slowly pulling back. I finally detach myself again from him, and he quickly squeezes his eyes shut and grins.

"Maybe one more, that might do the trick," he tells me.

"Oh I don't know I think I might just let him sleep in," I respond getting up.

He opens his eyes and smiles at me.

"Fine, I'm up. By the way there's nothing better than being woken up by a beautiful girl," he says.

I blush, I still can't see how he's sees me as beautiful. I didn't notice Uri awake before, but now he seems jealous of the awaking.

"You know, I'm asleep too. Hey Christina, can you come wake me up?" Uriah says with a charismatic grin plastered on his face, his brown eyes squeezed shut.

"Yeah sure, after all I just threw half my body weight in those bushes over there," says Christina, who is peeling another banana, one of which is limp at her feet.

"Never mind, I'm good," Uri says quickly pushing himself up from the other side of the palate.

With everyone up we decide to make an agenda for the day. Our top priority is getting more water and food to eat, Christina finished off one of the last bananas. We also needed to find something other than fish and bananas to fill our stomachs. With Christina carrying the baby, she needs more a healthy diet.

I remember my mother saying the same to our neighbor when they were pregnant with their first. I can recall how selfless my mother was, when she went over sometimes in the middle of the night, to make sure the soon to be mother was feeling well. She sometimes made us carry over some fruit to the woman since she couldn't bring herself to go get more groceries as she was already a month away from the delivery date.

"Well we should go over that ridge there and see if we can find anything. I saw a stream cut across it yesterday, maybe there are some berries nearby?"

"Really Uri? We are gonna live off of bananas, fish, and _berries_?" asks Christina.

Irritated, Uriah replies, "Well, unless you have a better idea, then yes."

Christina rolls her eyes and goes to fill up the water bottles for the trip. Once she's out of sight, and range of a throw, Uriah asks sarcastically, "Well isn't she in a good mood?"

"She's hungry and feeding two, plus I don't think you got up before the crack of dawn to throw up your dinner," I tell him.

He shivers with grotesque followed by raising his hands in defense and walking away.

We spend the time it takes Christina to get back, to pack up a few more bananas and prepare for the journey. By the time she walks into camp Tobias and Uriah have the packs with our necessities onto their backs and we walk out onto the trail leading back to the pool.

Tobias leads the way with Christina and me in tow. Uriah pulls back huge luscious leaves and branches from blocking our path, probably because he doesn't want to piss off the pregnant woman any more.

We make a right before the pool and create a new trail with our footprints, crunching the once undisturbed grass underneath our feet. Dodging the underbrush, we finally make it to the stream Uriah saw before.

We take a quick break for Christina's sake, but she insists that being only 4 months pregnant doesn't make her weak. But once I offer her a banana she devours the thing in a madder of seconds and sits in the grass shielded by the sun, with a tall tree.

I find a place in the sunshine by the stream when Tobias comes over and sits beside me. I play in the water with my hands, at first meaning to clean them of the dirt, but now just a game. Me pushing the water back from its destination, wherever that might be, until it becomes too fed up and pours itself over my fingers, some even passing in-between them. Tobias hugs his knees with his arms that are darker now with a tan that wasn't there before we embarked. He smiles as I taunt the water and chuckles when I get frustrated that it won't do as I tell it. I finally resurface my hands, now sparkling with the rays of sunshine on them and wipe the excess water on my pants.

Finally Uriah suggests we continue, and with a groan from Christina we are on the road again.

I keep my pace with Tobias now walking alongside him while Uriah and Christina lead. My hands hang limp at my sides and soon enough I feel a slight pressure on my right hand. I look down and see Tobias has slipped his into mine and intertwines them together. He squeezes my hand slightly and I don't know whether to squeeze back or just let it go. I've never been good with physical contact, living in Abnegation. I wonder how he does it with such ease.

I decide to let my hand falter and look back up to him with a smile.

"When are we going to get out of here?" I ask him.

"I don't know," he says. His eyebrows furrow and he looks at the ground.

"Cause, Tobias, we can't stay out here forever…..you know that right?" I say.

He remains looking at the ground ask we follow Uri and Christina. He lifts his dazzling blue eyes for a moment, just to where I can barely see them under his dark brown eyelashes.

"Yeah, I know." He sounds disappointed. I mean I like it out here in the wild as much as the next Dauntless, but with Christina being pregnant and us by ourselves, it's just too risky. Although I can't say the factions will be any better. Considering the only thing I remember before I blacked out, was the video being broadcasted. But what happened after that? Did another war begin? What happened to the Dauntless solider who woke up to reality with a gun in their hands and blood on their pants? What happened to Caleb?

Tobias finally picks his head up from the ground. I don't know what was so interesting before. His eyes look like he's not here, although physically he is, almost like he's daydreaming.

"Tris, you think one day you would want to have kids?"

My mouth goes dry and a shiver goes down my spine. I don't know what to say. I stop moving and look back at him.

"I mean- I don't know- it's like I'm jealous of Will. I'm jealous Christina can have a family. I just can't imagine having a family without you, and it's not like starting a family right away, but like after we're married." Tobias says, exasperated to get the last word out.

Every syllable that comes out of his mouth seems to drop with honesty. I'm in shocked that he mentioned marriage, and now a family, although I had already known someday that is what I wanted to have with him. It just doesn't seem like I could ever be ready. What is he expecting of me? Is now really a good time to start having a life in the middle of a war that is possibly raging in the factions? I'm scared at a life I want. His eyes seem hurt that I haven't spoken in a couple minutes since his confession.

"But Will's dead." I tell him, trying not to draw Christina's attention toward us. I can only imagine the rage in her eyes as Tobias admits he's jealous of her baby's father, who is dead, who I shot in-between the eyes, just a few months ago.

My hands are clammy and I blink a few times before I speak again.

"Tobias I-" I'm interrupted by a blood-curdling scream. I race up to where Christina stands with her face covered up by her hand and a look of terror in her eyes. I turn toward the direction she's looking at and see Uriah sitting next to a boy sprawled out on the forest floor. His hands are stained with blood under his fingertips and his black shirt is slightly lifted up over his waist where a scar lined with scabs is. His disheveled black hair is patted down into the caked mud and his arm is bent at an awkward angle. From where I stand it doesn't look like he's breathing.

Tobias gently pushes me out of the way and leans down to the man with Uriah. I didn't notice till now that Uriah is crying with wet hot tears and a burning hatred in his eyes. It's also now that I notice the man has olive skin similar to Uri.

In fact, it was his hands that pushed me down the zip line for the first time. It's the hand that held the mug of beer, sloshing around inside its glass container, as he stood by the chasm, the same night Tobias told me "I looked good." It was the same guy who had a relationship with his brother that caught me off guard with all of their joking around and wild dauntless mischief.

"Zeke," Tobias breathes out.

He rolls him over so Zeke's face is staring into the top of the trees, if his eyes weren't closed, he would go blind from the bright sunlight. Funny how nature can seem happy when it's holding death inside it.

Uriah begins sobbing again, this time screaming and thrashing around in the dirt. He doesn't even acknowledge our presence. He seems to stand still in time; unable to pay attention to anything else around him, other than he just lost his brother.

I look at Uri who has his head down next to Zeke's stomach, while Tobias lays his hand on Uri's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. But what would Tobias know about tears?

I bring my hand down from my mouth and hug Christina who seems traumatized to see a dead guy in the middle of the forest. With her back facing Zeke, Tobias lifts his gaze from Uri and looks at me. I don't know what to say. Zeke was his best friend; it would be like me losing Christina. I can only imagine the pain he's not showing.

I shift my eyes away, and peer over Zeke's body; from his jutted out legs to his face that is masked with dirt.

How could this happen? Did our kidnappers do this to him? Why would they kill him and not us? Who the hell are the kidnappers?

A million thoughts race inside my head, but they all come to a sudden stop when I see his green eyes open.

**Author's Note:**

**Hope you liked the chapter. I feel kind of bad for leaving you guys with a cliff hangar, but I couldn't imagine finishing the chapter any other way. Did you guys expect to find Zeke? What do you think needs to change in story? As always, I'm open ears for any suggestions and comments you might have on the fanfic. Have a great night pansycakes.**

**~Razben**


	7. Chapter 7

I stand still, my exhales still caught in my lungs, my eyes fixated on him. I watch how his brother kneels by his side and pours out tears for him, the guy he grew up with and taught him everything he knows. Uriah runs his hands through his shaggy hair and pulls, like the pain will somehow drown what he's going through. He screams from the pain and Tobias sits next to him and holds him in his arms. Uriah cries and screams, his face turning red with rage surging through him. Tobias sits there clenching his teeth trying to be strong. But how can you be unbreakable when your best friend is dead at your feet? He closes his eyes that hold pain. I stand holding Christina by my side. We both sob and I look at Zeke, his placid face staring blankly at the sky.

It all happens in a moment, too fast to be called anything else.

The darn green eyes stare at the sky and he has to blink a few times to adjust from the darkness behind his eyelids. I am motionless and although Uriah continues his crying with Tobias by his side and Christina weeping with her back toward Zeke, I feel like time has stopped.

"Zeke?" I make out through an exasperated breath, almost as quiet as Tobias' grieving.

Christina turns around and I uncurl my arms from her neck. Tobias opens his wet eyes and Uriah picks up his disheveled head from Zeke's body to look at his face. Uri's face twists with confusion, as Zeke starts coughing and turns over in the bed of grass. His back now to us, Uri finally realizing what's going on and forcefully wraps his arms around his brother. He squeezes him like he needs to make sure that he is actually there, alive, and breathing.

"Zeke, man I thought you were dead!" Uri says through a smile, although out of breath. Tobias watches them hug it out, not wanting to disrupt their reunion.

When Uriah finally lets Zeke go, after he claims he's choking him. Tobias pats Zeke on the back and helps him stand up, then hugs him quickly, like me he is bad at hiding his heritage. Zeke is obviously weak, probably like most of us were when we woke up in the middle of nowhere.

Christina and I step over to Zeke and give him a hug as well, mine not as embracive as Christina's. I'll never be able to live down my Abnegation traits. We gently hug, and Zeke takes a minute to catch his breath, trying to stand up straight seems to be difficult to him and he keeps leaning on Uri's shoulder.

Finally he replies with a faint breath, "Where are we?"

We look at each other; as if all of a sudden one of us would know, but I gaze at the patch of green grass under my feet and let Tobias explain.

"We don't know. We've been trying to survive out here until we find a way back to Chicago. We just came looking for more food when we found you," Tobias sums up.

Zeke nods slowly and suddenly falls limp at Uri's side. Just before he hits the ground, Uri grabs his arm and tries to prop him up. Tobias walks over on the other side of Zeke and together they manage to keep Zeke on his feet while he dazes in and out of reality.

"He probably needs something to eat and water," Christina pipes in. We all shake our heads in unison, except for Zeke, who seems to be bobbing his up and down.

"I'll go," I offer.

"Me too," Uriah says. He slightly pulls away from Zeke, letting Tobias carry more of his body weight. Tobias helps Zeke slowly walk over to a stubby thin tree that shields the grass from the blinding sunlight. Once Zeke is settled and is resting his head at the tree's base, Christina goes back to the creek to get more water, while Uriah and I continue to walk upstream in search for the berries.

We stomp through the muddy terrain, Uriah clumsier now that adrenaline of finding his brother is charging through his body. I carefully try to maneuverer my way past the rocks and heavy tall grass, but it gets so impossible we have to walk through the shallow steam, crawling and sliding over the smooth stones on our left.

We take cautious steps over the rock path and try not to slip on their wet surfaces. After a twenty minute walk we finally come upon a small grove of berries that is slightly hidden by some palm trees.

"They're over there," Uriah says pointing.

He helps me out of the stream, my shoes now holding heavy moisture in-between the stitching. We walk across the dead dusty palm fronds lying on the ground. I can hear every break in the huge leaf as I take another step and another one gives way under my pressure. Uriah steadies me as I climb off the pile and land with a thump.

I look at the bushes covered in sharp thorns, that I'm sure would love to attack my fingers.

"This'll be fun," I say with a heavy sigh and bit of sarcasm.

"Just watch out for the thorns it shouldn't be too bad," Uriah says.

I reach for a berry, careful of the surrounding thorns and pluck it off the bush with ease. I plop it into my mouth and its sweet flavor is embedded in it. I go for another dark berry and offer it to Uriah. He takes it, inspecting it closely and puts it into his mouth.

"Mmmmm, these are amazing," he says after swallowing.

He quickly goes for another, but gets nicked by a thorn. He pulls his hand away and checks to make sure the damage isn't too bad.

"Just watch out for the thorns," I say in a deep voice, mocking him, and laugh.

"Oh haha," he replies with a scrunched face.

We pick enough berries to fill one of the other water jugs we had at camp and then decide to put some carefully into our pockets as snacks for the walk back. We get our shoes wet again by walking through the stream, and I'm lucky we don't have pants on otherwise the bottom cuffs would be dark with water.

Once we finally reach Zeke we see Christina sitting with Tobias next to him. I can Zeke is trying to hold a conversation but is so exhausted he takes in a sharp breath before talking again. I look at my battle scars from picking the berries, my hands painted with red lines that are tender when I move my fingers.

"I don't really remember," Zeke says," I know that the video was released and everyone went crazy."

He sighs, sorry that he can't offer anything more than we already knew. I meet his eyes and tell him, "Its ok. Here try some of these."

I hand him the jar of berries and he takes one out and puts it into his mouth without even seeing what it is. Uriah and I sit down, me leaning my head on Tobias' shoulder, as Zeke swallows and takes a swig of the water before going for another one.

"I remember my mom used to make pies with this stuff," Zeke says, swishing a berries in-between his two fingers and thumb.

"Her blackberry pies were good, but they didn't even compare to dauntless cake."

We all laugh and Tobias says, "I don't think anything is better than dauntless cake."

We all nod in agreement and I imagine how nice it would be to have some right now. I can picture myself chewing the soft moist chocolate cake and licking my fingers to get the last reminisces of smooth icing off.

I wait for someone to say they miss it and if they could have anything right now it would be a big slice of cake. But we each have our own demons eating us inside. Christina wants her baby's father to be comforting her right now. And Zeke wants Shauna to be running to the top of the Sear's tower with him, to go down it zip lining, except she has to be wheeled up now. Uriah lost one of his best friends because of what I am, what he is. Tobias is similar to me, not having any parents. And although his are alive, they might as well be dead to him. And I am alone, my brother turned against me into attempting to kill his sister. My parents both shot down in front me, trying to do what they promised to me as an infant, for unconditional love and protection. The only family I have now is Tobias and that's all I could ask for. I am his and he is mine, infinite.

I push myself up from next to Tobias and stand.

"We should probably be getting back to camp, it's getting kind of dark and it's a long walk," I tell them.

Christina sighs and puts her arm out; I roll my eyes and chuckle slightly while pulling her up. Uriah and Tobias crouch down on either side of Zeke and put their arms under his armpits and count to three before lifting him carefully out from the comfort of the shrew tree. Zeke grunts and grits his teeth, trying to mask the pain he's in. I wonder what our kidnappers did to him. Torture? Beat him till he told them whatever they wanted to know? There is no telling, these savages who put us here don't believe in mercy.

Christina and I lead the way this time. I try to take the easier path back, so Zeke won't be in too much pain, but I can't prevent there being a slope or an incline every now and again. I walk over a knotted path of roots and look back to see Zeke bite his lip hard and cringe his eyes when they almost lose their footing in the obstacle of tree knots. I notice the blood coming from Zeke's mouth and turn away before he sees me watching him.

We come to a small clearing that tells me we are near camp, just into the mass of trees and Zeke can get some rest and a reprieve of pain. I yawn and walk pass tall weeds peaking at my hip, and see the sun setting on the tree line. It's magnificent yellow and pinks explode across the sky and leave a canvas of purples and reds in their wake.

We walk into the camp and find things just as we left them. I set the bucket of berries, now only three quarters full, I was holding next to the shelter. Zeke and crew follow, setting him down carefully amongst the shoddy shack.

I go to sit with Christina and together we get the fire going, the chilly air already sends a shiver down my spine. When we finally get the small flame to catch to the dry leaves and small twigs, a feeling a triumph surges through me. We get up from the crouching position near the escalading flame and sit on the logs. I brush off the dirt and ash mixture on my knees as Tobias comes walking over to me.

"Want to go get some more bananas with me for dinner?" He asks me.

I look at the flame, considering my options and look back at him.

"I would love to," I say grinning. He returns the smile and takes my hand in his as he guides me out of the camp and into the banana grove. We walk toward a plump small tree that is weighed down by green and yellow bananas on its branches. I take a ripened solid yellow one off and hand it to him.

"Thanks," he says with a dashing grin. He takes a bite and grabs one higher than I could reach and gives it to me. I smile and pout a little that he's showing off.

"Gee, thanks," I tell him with a jovial voice. I peel back the top of the banana and its stem peels off smoothly. I roll it down about halfway and repeat with the other sides. Tobias meanwhile picks more bananas off the tree for us to eat later tonight and tomorrow. He grabs mostly yellow ones, but a few green to let them ripen over the next few days. I finally take a bite of the banana and its sweet flavor tastes good in mouth. I sigh with pleasure of a full stomach again and help him pick the last bit of bananas that we will be able to carry.

Once we get them all in a neat pile, Tobias looks at me and says, "Let's stay and watch the sunset for a few minutes."

I smile and agree, sitting down next to him watching the sunset slowly creep down toward the ocean. Since the grove is on a small hill, it's easy to see over a few tree and still see the white caps rolling over on each other. I lay my head on his shoulder and he brings his arm around my back to hold me. His gentle touch is still electrifying, but I try not to give it away.

I look up at him from the orange rays slowly disappearing into the water. He breaks his gaze from the dazzling sunset as well and sees me staring at him. He chuckles and says, "Like the view?"

I smile and roll my eyes. "Yeah it's beautiful."

I'm still staring at his pools of blue crystal when he slowly leans down and brushes me with his lips. He adjusts his hand to support him behind my back, and passionately meets his lips with mine again. I smile and kiss him back, not fiercely, but in a gentle way, I don't want to ruin this perfect moment that we are having. He leans down closer, and I find myself slowly leaning back just to keep his lips barley on mine. I know I'm teasing him, but I can't stop myself.

I'm finally laying on my back and his elbow props him up as his kisses me behind my ear softly, before returning to my lips. I can still taste the bananas we both had before. I smile and break away from the kiss.

"I might just love you, Tobias Eaton," I tell him.

He looks playfully shocked and replies, "Well then we have a problem."

I tilt my head. "And what might that be?" I ask.

He peers at the sunset for a moment and gazes back at me.

"I'm extremely in love with you," he says smiling.

"That is a serious problem," I concur, "What are we going to do about it?"

He thinks thoughtfully for a moment and says, "We might just have to deal with it."

I ponder it for a second. "I think we can manage."

He leans down again, this time only six inches from my lips and whispers, "I like that idea."

He pauses and time stands still. Then he closes the gap between us and I close my eyes before I feel his pressure on my lips once again. And it's the best feeling in the world.

**Author's Note: **

**Okay I'm freaking out right now. I decided since I gave you guys a cliff hangar last time, I would hold off. But next chapter I simply must put one in! This chapter is a little bit longer than the other ones, so hopefully I didn't bore you guys. Please let me know what you thought of it. Even if you just thought it was okay, but could have been better. I love getting reviews from you guys, it seriously makes my day. Again though, you definitely do not have to review, but I do love hearing what you guys thought. Hope you guys have a wonderful day and I'll try to update soon!**

**~Razben**


	8. Chapter 8

After we get up from sitting in the grass, that is now matted down since we've be sitting and talking and kissing in it for the last however many minutes, we load ourselves with the bananas we picked and go back over to the camp site. It's not long before we walk on the caked dirt ground that Christina starts getting suspicious of our small adventure. We set down the bananas near the shelter, with Zeke still sleeping inside it, and I walk toward the water jug to rehydrate myself. Christina comes up to me after my long sip.

"So how come it took you guys forty-five minutes to get the bananas? It usually only takes me ten," she interrogates.

It was forty-five minutes? It felt like half of that. I guess it's true what they say, time flies when you're having fun. Christina turns her head to make eye contact with me now that I'm looking at the cap of the bottle, trying to avoid the question.

"Was there a _handsome_ guy involved?" She asks with an emphasis on handsome.

I look at her and try to keep from chewing the inside of my cheek, remembering her saying it was my tell. I look her in the eye and make sure to keep my breaths even.

"Nope," I saw popping the P.

"Dude you are totally lying! It was a full-on make out session wasn't it!" Christina squeals.

My face gets hot and my palms start to sweat, my abnegation kicks in and I feel I should be scolded for showing affection in public. Except it feels like a punch in the gut when I remember, there might not even be an Abnegation anymore.

I put my arms out and try to keep her from jumping up and down. I hear someone quietly laughing behind me, and I turn to look over my shoulder. A boy with deep blue eyes smirks at me and I turn back to Christina, I blush and beads of sweat trickling down my spine. I'm embarrassed that Tobias heard Christina and I try to hide my rosy cheeks by pinching my leg.

I look Christina in the eye and purse my lips with aggravation. She sees that I'm pissed and stops mid-jump.

"Sorry," she says and walks away with her palms facing toward me.

I roll my eyes and reset the bottle in its original position, on the ground leaning against the cooler. I walk over to the fire pit when I hear Uriah grunting from putting down more fire wood he just collected.

"We need to do something about this whole roughing it thing," he says, gesturing to the shelter.

I nod my head. We really can't keep sleeping on the ground and when it rains we'll all just be showered in mud, or worse get sick from the cold and wet clothes.

"What do you suggest?" I ask him.

He thinks about a moment and then grabs a thin stick nearby. He sits down on the log and imprints the dirt with circles and lines. Once he's done I see the drawing looks like a toddler's work, but its obvious there is a roof and open doorway with two lines underneath the house.

"What's that?" I ask him pointing to the two lines.

"Well the platform would have to be lifted so the rain doesn't get in. And we could use the palm fronds again for the roof. We just need something for the walls and stuff."

"We could use bamboo, I saw a small patch of it on our way to get the berries, we could cut them down with the knife," says the voice behind me.

I look up and see Tobias' head hovering over my left shoulder, looking down at the plans. I can't believe I didn't notice him lingering next to me. I'm completely off my guard in this jungle and I'm getting out of shape considering that I'm only eating and sleeping. It's another thing I need to fix.

"That could work," Uriah confirms, "We can go get some tomorrow considering it's getting late."

I look up at the sky and see the once amber scene is now dark and gray. Just above the horizon I can see the pearl moon is only highlighted slightly on the right. I can see part of its blotchy spots where it is covered with imperfections.

I mumble a yeah, and get up to walk back over to the shelter. I see Zeke is still sleeping and I decide to turn in early too. Today was a long day, finding Zeke and all. I look at his greasy hair that is sprawled over his eyes and I watch as his back rises and falls slowly. Tomorrow, when he is strong enough, Tobias and Uriah will have to take him to the fall, to wash up. For now though I just roll him over a little bit so his horizontal position in the shelter is now vertical. He murmurs as I carefully move him and I grin at him. He's like a brother to me, a brother I could never have. One who would take a bullet for me, and be there for me when I needed him. Caleb used to be like that to me. Although that was before he tried to kill me.

I crouch down on my knees and move around on the tarps till I get comfortable and finally lay down. With Zeke to my right, I can feel his shoulder rubbing up against mine and I scoot over a little, discouraging the contact. I look up at the top of the shack and see the lines of the palm fronds on top of one another, shielding us from the sun and potential rain. I know this jungle isn't going to stay dry forever, so tomorrow I'll definitely have to carry my weight around here, while we build the new hut.

I take in a dusty breath slowly through my nose and exhale through my mouth trying to release any tension. Before I know it, my eyelids creep toward each other and I feel obligated to let them close shut, and leave me with darkness. 

My eyes come alive when I hear a rustling in the woods. I turn to my left and see Tobias nestled up beside me and Christina and Uriah on the other side of him. They must have finally come to bed. I look back up at the ceiling and look slightly to the right and see a vast ocean of stars in the sky. It looks as though someone took a black piece of paper and poked holes through it.

I roll my head to the right and expect to see Zeke sound asleep, drooling, but instead I find an empty space. I prod myself up with my elbow at first, a million thoughts racing through my head of where he could be. That's before I realized he might just have had to go to the bathroom. I feel stupid and I rub my eyes with my fingers and take a deep breath. This jungle has got me paranoid of nothing. I turn back over facing Tobias and lean in closer to him. I pull his arm around me, and he holds me. I breathe in his scent, something distinctly male and I feel his breath against the nape of my neck. I let it bring warmth to me and I slowly fall back to sleep. I figure Zeke will be back in a few minutes anyway, and its not like the 18 year old needs a babysitter.

I close my eyes and focus on Tobias' inhales and match them to mine; slowly relaxing my body, one muscle at a time. My body sinks into the ground, indenting itself into the earth beneath it. I feel almost weightless and picture my body going numb, surrendering it to sleep.

That is, until I hear a blood curdling scream.

I jolt up and I feel my heart beat pound like a drum in my chest. I hear the scream again and now Tobias and the crew are up as well. We all look around frantically, trying to figure out where the screaming is coming from. It's one of those screams that instinct tells you something is seriously wrong. It's the scream a mother gives when she can't find her child. It's the sound of someone who knows they are in danger. And all I can think of is Zeke. Zeke. Zeke.

We all stagger around and start yelling Zeke's name. Uriah screams his name and I see the vein in his neck bulging out. His face is bright red and fear is it his eyes. I run over to him and hold his shoulders.

"Uriah! Uriah!" I try to get him to see me and snap out of the panic.

"Uri! You and Tobias go look by the falls and we'll look by the orchard."

He shakes his head wildly and pants out an "ok." Tobias grabs his shoulder and together they sprint to the falls. Christina and I hustle together and run toward the orchard. Christina is trying to keep up as I dodge the low hanging leaves and underbrush, that sting as they whip past me. I pass around a corner and my feet slip out from underneath me. My knees scrape against the ground and I know that my they are bleeding. I push myself back up and clap my stinging hands to get rid of the dirt. My skin pricks with pain, but I have adrenaline coursing through me and I then I can't feel a thing.

I get to the orchard and slow myself down, catch a tree to use as my brake. My feet skid against the rough ground and I hear Christina crushing fallen leaves behind me. She starts panting when she makes it to where I am frantically jogging around the orchard calling out Zeke's name.

"Where do you think he is?" She asks.

I shake my head, sweat running down my spine.

"I don't know," I say pushing a hand to my head to wipe off the moisture.

"ZEKE!" I scream. "ZEKE WHERE ARE YOU?!"

I feel my face grow hot and my heartbeat in my head as I scream again. I can hear Uriah and Tobias' yells, but they sound as empty-handed as we are. Christina wipes some moisture off around her mouth and decides to sit down. She breathes heavy and I feel selfish for letting her come out here. A pregnant woman shouldn't be running around the jungle screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night. I stop pacing around the groves and stop for a second to catch my breath. I take in a big gulp of air and try to suppress the pounding heartbeat.

For an instant I hear a rustle in the bushes to the right. I think I might be hallucinating from the echoing throughout my body, but then I hear it again. I quickly turn around and move my head in different directions searching for the noise. I see the bush shake violently again. Something has to be behind it, whether it's Zeke or not.

I slowly creep toward the bush, trying not to start whatever is behind it. I raise my hand carefully, and see the full moon's glow create a shadow. I tilt my head around the bush to find something curled up and twitching. Because of the darkness, I can only see the outline of the figure.

"Zeke?" I say cautiously.

I reach my hand out to turn the thing around. I'm so close to touching it, I can hear its breath. I finally lay my fingers on the figure and then feel a white hot pain.

I scream out in agony and my face contorts. I feel tear pinpricking the edges of my eyes and I scream out for help.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP!" My voice doesn't sound like my own. It's scratchy and full of desperation and I'm in too much pain to care.

I hear running footsteps and then feel someone's cold hands on my arms. I flail my arms out to try and get the attacker away from me. I scratch and thrash as he picks me up, one arm under my knees, and another pressed against my back. I punch and kick till I hear a voice.

"TRIS-IT'S OK. YOU'RE OK. IM HERE," I don't pay attention to whoever is shouting at me, although they are trying to calm me down; I can't see anything in the pitch dark. I continue to elbow soft flesh and scream in pain. My right leg is infused with a searing pain and the person who is carrying me, doesn't seem to realize their hands are right next to it.

"PUT ME DOWN!" I scream at them. I try to thrash more but the pain is too overbearing and I can't think straight. I start to see black dots appear on the trees I'm staring at above me. The moon reflects itself on each limb and I see even the leaves start to disappear, leaving only a dark circle in its wake.

I start to feel myself grow tired, and without the thrashing I begin to sink into my carriers' arms. The pain crawls down my thigh to my ankle and it becomes so overwhelming my whole body is numb. I try to resist the movement, but the figure sets me down on something rough. A blanket? I hear voices above me.

"Is she ok?"

"What happened?"

"Who did it?"

The noises start to fade and I feel something moving around on the surface of my skin. It feels cool and sharp like metal and it moves like a wave. In. Out. In. Out. I focus on the moon hanging still in the sky above and watch as the clouds roll across it. I keep thinking they are each racing each other, to get somewhere; I don't know where.

I grit my teeth as the metal and whatever is attached to it is pull tightly together. I clench my jaw and the scream is still in my lungs. It feels like my throat is on fire so I let the suppressed agonizing sound escape from me.

I lift my head up and see two people by my leg and another tied up to a tree. Why are they tied up?

"Uri be careful!"

"I'm doing the best I can! Just hand me the alcohol again, we need to clean it up."

I drop my head back down and let my eyes slowly close shut. I yell from the cool liquid on my skin seeping into the cut. I go to sit up and yell at the one who is causing me more pain, but I am pushed to the ground my two strong arms.

"Tris- you're going to be ok. I promise."

I see the edge of dark blue eyes and I roll my head to the side.

"I love y-"

I barley catch the end of the sentence before I fade into darkness.

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. There are many excuses I could tell you about, but the main point is it's Spring Break, which means I was able to update and will hopefully update again before it's over. Hope you guys liked the chapter, I know last time it might have seemed like a "filler" but I wanted to mainly introduce Zeke into the story, and furthermore lead up to this chapter. Again, let me know if there is anything you did/didn't like about the chapter. I love reading your feedback and getting a chance to create a fanfic that you enjoy reading. Hope your Spring Break is going swimmingly! **

**~Razben**


	9. Chapter 9

I feel the pounding in my head before I open my eyes. I cringe at the pain in my right leg and through gritted teeth I let out a terse breath. I close my eyes, trying to put the pain aside and pretend it's not there. I pick myself up and lean over to inspect my leg. There's a bloodied bandage wrapped around my wound and around the dry ground beneath me is crimson dirt. I grimace at the pain shooting through my leg when I go to touch the wound and see how bad I was cut. I don't even attempt to remove the bandage to see how deep the cut is, I just lie down again and ball up my hand in a fist. I close my eyes to shield myself from the blinding sunlight.

"Hey, you finally up sleepyhead?"

With my elbow draped over my eyes I crack a smile.

"You know Tobias; I'm in a lot of pain right now. I won't hesitate to take you down."

I hear him chuckle. "I never thought I'd here that from the woman I rescued."

I lift my head up and finally look at him. I see his dark hair pulled over his eyes and he wears a childish smile.

"What happened?" I ask, holding my head in my hand.

He looks at me and the smile has faded. Instead it's replaced with a creased forehead and he chews his lower lip slowly. Did he catch the attacker? Did they find Zeke? Is everyone else ok?

"What happened?" I ask again. I feel my heart rate quicken as he takes a cautious step towards me and sits down next to me. Something bad must have happened to rattle him this much. He tries to avoid eye contact with me and gingerly grazes my wound with his knuckles. I can feel as his cool skin makes contact with mine and I flinch away from the shooting pain.

"I'm sorry," he says concerned, "I just need to redress you wound."

I nod and he carefully unties the knot keeping the crimson stained bandage in place. I grit my teeth and take in a sharp breath. He looks up to make sure I'm still ok, and I nod saying its ok. He looks back down at his hands and lifts my leg up to further unwrap the cloth. Once it's unraveled, I see what the damage is. There is a deep gash in my right thigh stretching from inches below my hip to the left side of my knee cap. It starts out as a small gash but widens in the middle. It looks to be three inches across and I can see pink tissue surrounded by excess blood. I close my eyes and try to imagine it's not there. I try to avoid the burning pain in my leg by changing the subject.

"Did you guys find Zeke?"

Tobias finishes rewrapping a new cream colored cloth around my leg. Once he's finished he scoots over next to me, and he's so close I can feel the electricity sparking between us. He hugs his knees loosely with his arms and looks at me.

"Yeah….We found Zeke," he says in a low voice.

I tilt my head and my dirty blond strands fall off of my shoulder and hang in mid-air.

"Is he okay?" I ask him quietly. He shakes out his dark hair and sighs. Something must have happened with Zeke's rescue. But why is he acting so anxious.

"Yeah…He's alright, now." He says.

Why is he acting so strange? What's he hiding from me?

"Tris—I—Well-," He's slipping over words and his face turns sheet white. I've never seen him this anxious. Even in training when he held the knives and threw them at my head he showed no sign of anxiety. I can still feel the cool metal blade against my ear, but that was ages ago.

I put my hand on his knee and coax him to look at me. He lifts his head up and I see his eyes are red at the edges. I take in a breath.

"Tobias what happened?"

"Tris—Zeke was the one who stabbed you."

I stare at him and my jaw drops.

"What?"

"We found him next to you and he was holding one of the knives. You were unconscious and your leg was bleeding really badly. Tris there was so much blood—and he was there—I ran up to him and started asking why he would do something like that. Tris, he just starting screaming and yelling, and I didn't know what to do. So we tied him up and I haven't even been able to look at him."

I run my hands through my hair. My head is pounding and I feel like I can't breathe. Zeke is basically my brother, how could he do this to me?

I start hyperventilating and shaking my head, I can feel goose bumps up and down my arms. Tobias grabs me by the shoulders.

"Tris- you're ok. Everything is ok. He's not gonna hurt you again. I promise." He holds me against his chest and I let tears slowly slip out. My heart feels like a 100 pound weight. And I just. Can't. Breathe.

I clutch at his shirt and he rubs my back and tries to calm me down. I already had one brother betray me. Except Zeke was family I got to choose, and yet he still tried to kill me. Why does this keep happening? Why am I not good enough? Why does no one love me?

I allow myself another five seconds of weakness before meeting his eyes again. I sniffle and drag my arm underneath my nose.

"I'm sorry," I say.

Tobias gives me puzzled look, "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You know you can cry in front of me."

I swallow, "I just don't want to seem weak."

He shakes his head, "Crying isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of trying hard for too long to be strong."

I smile and nod. He always knows what to say. It's one thing that I love about him, he truly is the one person I have left to love. I look back up at him and try to steal back my tears.

"I want to talk to him," I tell Tobias. He gives me a concerned look.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

I feel the fire in my heart. I have to know why. Caleb could never tell me why he did what he did. But Zeke can. I want to understand how he could take a blade and run it against my skin without thinking twice. How he could cause me pain and not care.

It's the first time since I woke up that I see a tan boy tied up against a tree. His hands are bruised a soft red around the area where the rope is digging into his flesh. He hangs his head low and he stares at his stomach. His head rolls to the side and bobs. He cracks open his eyes and cringes away from the sunlight. He looks up underneath his eyelashes and looks over to the tent we are under.

It takes it a moment for us to make eye contact, as his gaze searches around the brown dried up palm fronds that hang fragilely over our heads, to Tobias sitting next to me, to the girl sitting with a fresh wound still bleeding out. His eyes meet mine and his expression changes. Now his eyes are cringed at the corners and he wears a smug look of disgust. In return, all I can give him a weak look that he didn't bother me, that he didn't break me.

But there's no hiding it. I'm in excruciating pain and he caused; another person who has betrayed and hurt me.

I look up at Tobias. "Help me stand up please."

He's hesitant at first and then grabs my right forearm and carefully eases me out of my sitting position. I take in another terse breath before I'm finally standing. I have pain shooting through my leg, but I don't care. I have to talk to him. I need to know why. I take a deep breath and take a step forward.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys, hoped you liked the chapter. It's kinda shorter than the others, sorry. If you are still sticking with this fanfic, thank you so much. Let me know what you guys think. And thanks to the people who have reviewed my fanfic, you guys make my day. Have an awesome day! **

**~Razben**


	10. Chapter 10

I stare at the ground he's sitting on as I make my way across camp to where he is being held as prisoner. I notice the dark scratches in the dirt where he probably tried to escape, the crumpled leaves around the base of the tree, the sickly yellow grass that is matted down near his outstretched legs. He lifts his head up at me and searches my face and stares at me in disbelief. At what? That I could pick myself up from where he pushed me down? That I could hold my head up high and show him he didn't hurt me? Well almost.

Tobias has to help me sit down next to him. Not as close as I would usually sit. Now, it's more like he has a disease and I don't want to be the next victim. I stifle a groan as I maneuver my leg to a comfortable position. With me sitting on Zeke's right side, he won't be able to get a good look at the damage he's caused. But I know he carefully inspects it . His eyes dash around the wound and I expect to see him hang a smug smile across his face but instead I see he looks hurt.

He curls his lips together and softly bites down on them. He closes his eyes and I see a tear slip out of the corner. It falls onto his shirt and he sniffles. He opens up his dark brown eyes again and looks at me. I feel myself stiffen and my breaths grow rugged.

"Tris…. I'm so sorry," he says.

I keep my head held up and don't respond. I just stare at his with my jaw set and my lips tight.

" I didn't mean to hurt you—I didn't know what was going on!"

"Oh save it you piece of crap! Do you actually think that we believe that putting a gash in her leg was an accident?!"

Tobias' voice resonates and Zeke takes in a deep breath.

"I'm telling you, I would never hurt Tris. She's like my sister."

_But you did. _

"I am so sorry. I wish I knew why I did it but I don't"

"Cause you're insane! Why else would u stab her?!"

They talk like I'm not even there.

"Tobias, I DON'T KNOW!" Zeke yells.

I forgot Zeke knew Tobias' real name too. That's how close they were.

Uriah looks over from the fire pit at us. He glances at Zeke for a moment before turning around. I can't imagine how he feels, they used to live together, they grew up together, now this?

I finally cut through their argument.

"What do you mean you don't know why?" I ask calmly.

Zeke's eyes search into mine, begging for me to listen.

"All I remember is that I went to sleep after we came back to camp. Then next thing I know I wake up, tied to this tree," he says looking back at the base of the palm, "and Tobias telling me I stabbed you."

I remember how he looked. He was sheet white and had a dead stare that hung foreign on his face. He looked like he was sleepwalking. I remember the silver knife in his hand and how he held it so loosely. Like he didn't even know he was holding it.

"Zeke, what's the last you remember before we found you the other day?"

He thinks about it for a moment with his eyebrows in a crease.

"I remember waking up in this, like hospital, I think. And seeing all of these machines I was hooked up to. I don't remember much after that. At the time I thought I was shot or something after the video got released or that I was being treated, but honestly, I don't remember."

I look up at Tobias. I know he's thinking the same as me: someone's messing with Zeke's head.

I reach for his arm and he helps me back up. He's gentle and holds my elbow for support when I've finally gotten to a walking position. I glance over my shoulder at Zeke.

"I believe you," I tell him, "I just need some time."

He nods and lets me go without trying to explain himself further. I watch as his brown eyes return to their blank expression, staring at the caked dirt underneath him. I swing my injured leg outward and limp toward the other side of camp to the path that leads to the falls.

"I need to get cleaned up, all this filth and blood…" I let my words hand loose in the air.

Tobias tries to crack a small smile. "I'll help you," he says.

I feel his tender touch on my elbow as he helps me down to where the pool is. I never realized how bad the terrain was, now that every step seems like I'm getting stabbed over and over again. My wound, turning the bandage a grizzly red, feels like someone took a kitchen knife and stuck it into my leg, turning it round and round like a carousel. The bone feels like it is getting several notches from the kitchen knife and makes me want to cut it off.

I let out another terse breath, trying to mask my pain from Tobias. I don't want him to treat me like I'm a child. I'm 16; I can take care of myself. He stumbles over some up turned roots and in turn pain shoots through me. I grab for his hand and he looks up at me with concern.

"Sorry! Are you okay?" he says.

"Yeah, just dandy," I reply through gritted teeth. I taste my blood and wipe at my lip. I bit through it.

"Shit."

"What is it?" he asks. He sees me spreading the blood onto what's left of my pants that he didn't have to cut away to tend to my wound.

"Bite your lip?"

"Yeah." I let out a heavy sigh of frustration.

"Here."

He bends his elbows and turns at a sideways angle. He reaches down and places my knees over one of his forearms, while cradling my back with the other. He picks me up in a swift motion and begins to walk forward again. Things move much faster without me dragging us down. I forgot how small I am compared to him. I don't have pulsing muscles in my arm. I crane my neck to look at his triceps. Bulging pale green veins run ramped over his tanned skin. I peer down at mine, covered in dirt and desperately needing to be washed, and only see a meager amount of muscle. I look weak compared to him and right now I feel like it too. Hell, I can't even walk for myself.

I pick up my head and stare at his face. Where he once had smooth clean shaven skin, now has a scruffy layer of a small beard. He's grown so much since we've been out here. Although, he probably has always been this way, with the war and other bickering going on, I just never noticed. He sees me staring.

"Enjoying the view?" he says sarcastically.

I smirk. "Maybe…" I press my lips together and smile. For once I am acting like the lovesick girl I am.

We get to the pool with connecting waterfall and he walks over, me in tow, to a shady spot right near the crystal water. In the secluded shady spot, he cautiously puts me down with my back against a tree. The spot is so close to the water that when I stretch out my legs, my ankles skin the cold water. I prop myself up with my elbow and lean to see him go around to the other side of the thick trunk and sit down. He leans over, without turning his head.

"I'm not looking, just here in case you need me." I smile.

"Thanks."

He knows, growing up in Abnegation too, that showing skin isn't something you can just do. Along with that, he knows my fear and respects me as a person and not as anyone's property. This is one of his best qualities.

I take off my top, pulling it swiftly, well somewhat swiftly, over my head. My pants are harder to get off. My wound has made my leg swell up and its harder to slip the jeans off. If I wasn't wearing skin tight pants, that Christina told me to wear, the day the video was released, I might be in a different situation.

Finally getting the clothes off along with my undergarments, I ease myself into the water. The constant flow from the waterfall to the pool to the stream bringing excess water out, leaves me with cold water. It trickles over my calves to above my hip, till finally I am sitting on a slick rock that is under the water, with my chin lying parallel to the surface.

I had cut my hair at Amity, however long ago, but now it has grown out to just slightly shielding my shoulders. I lean my head back gingerly and let the water swirl around my head till it covers my face. Under the water I open my eyes and look straight up at the sky. Through the barrier of the water it moves in every direction and gleams and reflects light everywhere. I pick my head out of the water, and feel the cold liquid run down the side of my face. I wipe away any water from my eyes till I remove the blurry shadows.

Once I can actually see, I notice that skinny strands of crimson flow out from my wound and make the water a small pink cloud. Within the next minutes the current pushes new water to replace it and the cycle starts again. I run my fingers through my hair and over my body, pushing away unwanted dirt.

"What do you think about what Zeke said?" I ask Tobias.

Still looking past the tree like instead of at me he replies, "I don't know." He lets out a sigh.

"I just can't come up with any other explanation of why he would do something like that. Tris, he's my best friend, I just—I can't-."

"Yeah." I tell him. I press my lips together.

"So I'm guessing whoever dumped us here did something to his brain?" I say.

"Yeah I guess so. The only people who can do that though are the Erudite, it just doesn't make sense."

I nod my head, forgetting he's not looking at me, and reply, "yeah."

I get up from the slick rock underneath the water, which I was leaning on, and walk toward the shallower parts of the pool. I push the soles of my feet into the white sand at the bottom of the pool and raise my uninjured leg onto the soft green grass. I collect my dark wet hair to one side and squeeze the moisture out of it. With Tobias still respectfully staring away, I sneak over to the trunk of the tree and grab my clothes. I slip them on quickly, or as quickly as I can, and then walk back around the tree.

He smiles when he sees me and gets up slowly. He opens his arms out once again, and picks me up to carry me back.

"You know, I can walk for myself." I tell him.

"Yeah I know." He says smirking.

I let out a sigh and let him finally walk us over to the camp. Once we are there I see Uriah is standing next to a couple of long green slender trees that are at his feet. I limp over to him and ask him what they are.

"These are the bamboo shoots, for the shelter."

I had forgotten before that we were talking about making this shelter, to house us until we find our way home. I don't know how long it will take us now that we are down two people. I don't tell Uri this though, as if he needs to be reminded. Instead I just bob my head and go over to the make-shift shelter to make up my bed for the night.

As I'm adjusting my body to a comfortable position, with my leg outstretched and arm bent behind my head, I close my eyes. I can feel the cool night air just beginning to settle. The crickets just tuning up for their strum later, the distance falls crashing against adjacent stones, and the wind whispering through the palm fronds above me. Suddenly I feel a soft pressure on my lips. I feel a small smile pressing against my mouth and I gently kiss the intruder of my thoughts. Too soon, though, the lips are off mine and I open my eyes to see Tobias settling in on the other side of me.

"Goodnight Tobias," I whisper into the inches between us.

"Goodnight Tris," he replies.

With that I close my eyes and lose myself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

**Hello people of the Internet. I hope your lives are going amazing and that you are eating fruit everyday. If you still stick with this story after the horribly long periods of time waiting for the next chapter, then thank you so much. Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter. I absolutely love hearing what you guys think should happen or change. Have an awesome day!**

**~Razben**


	11. Chapter 11

I feel a nudging on my shoulder, soft hands slowly shaking me awake. I smile and roll over onto my side. I peel my eyelids from one another and blink a few times to be able to see clearly. After the hazy clouds fade away, I see dark green eyes looking back at me with a slick smile playing on the person's face. I quickly realize who it is and start screaming, pushing myself back from the figure. My throat is raw and I lose my ability to scream quickly, but I feel the pain in my chest doubling from it. I kick out my feet from underneath me and scoot myself backwards till I'm sitting against the tree underneath the shoddy shelter.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" It's like I have sandpaper coating the inside of my throat and I feel stinging tears flow down the angles of my face. I see him in front of me slowly getting up, crawling over toward me, silent. My body is shaking uncontrollably and I start hyperventilating. What do I do? How do I stop him?

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He still comes closer and he begins to laugh. It's starts out quiet but grows into this deep dark laughter only a psychopath would have.

"HELP ME!" I scream again and this time I feel a sharp pain. I look down at my leg and it's bleeding out quickly and the red is spreading out into a pool beneath me. Before I can comprehend I how I was injured, I grab at my arm and feel another sharp pain. I grunt with aggravation and see it's also bleeding. I put pressure onto my arm with my hand and squeeze. I look back at his face and the once dark green eyes are now black pits that match his dark slick hair. I see he holds an open knife in his hand and watch in terror as he twirls it around his fingers, slipping fragilely between them without marking his olive skin.

He holds out the knife and smiles, shielding his teeth with tight lips.

"ZEKE STOP!" I scream out, my voice not even human sounding anymore.

He inches closer, daring to frighten me even more. I feel my lungs slowly giving out on me. It's like I've forgotten how to breath, and I can't remember.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell out to him.

I look across the twelve inches between us and hear him finally speak.

"Wake up Tris." He says and his face is no longer smiling. Instead there is a sincere look replacing the smug murderous one.

I shake my head and tell him again, "Get away from me," with a calmer tone than before. I still don't realize what's going on, and his hands are on my arms shaking me violently.

"WAKE UP!" He yells in frustration.

I don't understand. Beads of sweat run along my forehead, slipping down the curve of my face.

"WHAT?!" I respond.

He continues shaking me, thrashing me back against the tree. I close my eyes and breathe heavily. I focus on the smell of the forest, not Zeke, not the pain in my back, not the screaming; I only focus on air.

I open my eyes again and everything has changed. The savage boy that once was pushing me against a tree is now replaced by Tobias. I see the tattoo peeking out from underneath his collar, black against tan. I move my eyes up and meet his. He looks scared. He moves his arm from my shoulder to my neck. He brings me close and holds me tightly. It's like two worlds crashing together; reality and a nightmare. I let out rugged breaths and gasp for air that seems to be vacant. I push around the salvia in my mouth and stop from trying to make sense of things. I just grab Tobias and pull him close to me. I feel his breaths on the nap of my neck. Grabbing at his T-shirt, I slowly pull myself together.

"It's ok," He whispers into my ear. He pats down my tangled mess of blond and holds me close.

"I'm here, everything is ok."

I nod and sit there for a moment, in his arms. I swallow hard to fight back the tears. I've already shed too many. I'm not weak. I'm not weak. Zeke is not going to shake me. I softly push Tobias back and leave his warmth.

"I'm fine," I say, eye level to him now, more forced than I meant to.

"Ok, sorry," He says offended, raising his hands.

I heave in a big breath and try to calm down my racing heart rate. I feel like someone who was drowning and just sucked in a sliver of air.

"I fine," I repeat.

I place my hand down and let it prop me up. I know it was just a nightmare, but it felt so real. I could feel the heat from Zeke's breath when he kept bashing me against the tree, his hands overpowering me, not being able to shake him off, and not being able to protect myself. I know it's been awhile since I have been in my fear landscape, I don't know if I've lost any of my fears. I'm not sure if I still fear Tobias, even if I don't want to. But I know, I know, that Zeke has to be one of them. I use my other hand to wipe of off the sweat that has formed on my brow.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me quietly.

I can't see anyone around us. Uri is probably working on the new shelter, and seeing as how the sun is hung so lonesome in the middle of the sky, I'm guessing that Christina is eating. I do know, however, that Zeke is still tied up, as he was last night, except now his back is facing me and he moves his legs that were once folded underneath him, out in front of him. I can see the edges of his body, peeking out from behind the solid palm tree, across the way.

I gaze back to Tobias and nod my head. My blond hair ripples from behind my ear, where I had just tucked it, to loosely hang in the air. I take in another deep breath and only focus on Tobias.

"I-uh-was being attacked," I say quietly, slowly letting the words form.

"I-," I sniff and take another deep breath, "It felt so real Tobias."

He scoots over close to me and engulfs me in his arms. The tender touch of his fingers, rub up and down my back and I can feel his heart racing as he touches me. I know that he cares about me, and he hates that he can't really help me. That's the one thing about nightmares, only you really know what it feels like. I separate from him, but still gingerly hold his hand. I play with his fingers entwined in mine and continue.

"Zeke… was the one who attacked me."

He pulls back his hand from mine and lets out a forced breath through his nose. I see the anger in his eyes. It's the same look as in initiation when I told him about Peter, when I told him they touched me. I shudder at the memory.

"Tris, I'm so sorry—I wish I could make it all go away, I wish this never happened. But it did. I can't forgive Zeke for what he's done to you. And I can't stop him from hurting you in your nightmares. I wish I could do somethi—"

"I know," I interrupt his shouting, "I know, I just want you to be by my side to tell me it's going to be ok."

He lifts his hand to my face and cradles it, letting the other one prop him up. He closes the space between us and softly applies pressure to my lips. He moves closer to me, pressing his body against mine and I slowly let my hand lose its locked position, meant to keep me up, and let us fall down onto the dirty ground beneath us. He is barely on top of me, only enough to keep us tasting each other and resisting the urge to breath, not wanting to break this moment.

He pulls away from me and looks me in the eyes. His face blocks the sun, and he has a sudden glow around him. I'm squinting my eyes, but refuse to stop looking at him. He bends down and tickles my nose gently with his wet lips. It's only a small peck, but I still feel like I might explode.

He licks his lips and leans down to put his mouth next to my ear. I close my eyes and listen to his warm breath as whispers quietly, "I will always be by your side Beatrice Prior."

**Author's Note: **

**Hi guys! Sorry for the shortish chapter. Thanks for all the reviews! I love knowing that someone actually is reading my stories out there, plus letting me hear an honest opinion about how to fix it, or what they would like seen in the fanfic. Hope you guys are having an awesome summer! Stay awesome and hug a tree!**

**~Razben**


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